To the victims of abuse, I believe you.
From Roy Moore, to Harvey Weinstein, to Louis C.K., to President Trump, to Kevin Spacey to US Gymnasts . . . . . the news of sexual assault, sexual abuse and the misuse of power and influence is all the rage. The human stories have become rhetoric in a mass of information culture wars and political ideologies. To protect wealth, power, prestige and status, the accused double down in their darkness through the denials and shaming of victims. There is not a perfect judge on earth, one day there will be reckoning for us all. We get to choose what side we want to be on for that day of righteousness.
Thy hype, the rhetoric, the 24 hr news stories do something quite different for the survivors of abuse. They are not news stories, they are auto-biographies. The stories act as a trigger to latent memories when no one believed them. The fresh written descriptors online about someone else’s horrific night cease being about the other and become a reliving of their own trauma. PTSD and Secondary Trauma are unintentional consequences for the survivors when Abuse is all the news.
They don’t see someone else’s story, they see their own again. It’s memories of a face, of a room, of a time, of a smell, of a feeling, of a touch, of a boundary crossed, of powerlessness, of shame, of denial, of secrecy, of protection, of physical pain, of emotional confusion, of psychological hell, of cover-ups and perhaps most insidious of all the evil, the reliving that no one believed them.
If this is you, I am sorry. I believe you. You deserved more. It wasn’t your fault. The shame isn’t yours. You can love again. You are not alone. You survived for a reason. You are so much more than a survivor. There is hope.
When Abuse is ALL THE NEWS . . . I believe you. #metoo